FRENCH PRESS: 3 – GODAWFUL
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It was time to try a new coffee, so I started searching Amazon. Looking for something unique, I came across the Tanzania Peaberry by Volcanica Coffee Company. The Peaberry bean is a special type of coffee bean: there is only one bean in each cherry instead of the normal two beans. Also, I do admit that I was slightly influenced by the packaging and the roaster name. Who doesn’t like Volcanos?
Upon opening the bag, the aroma was sweet and pleasant. I had to taste a couple of beans so I threw a couple of beans into my mouth. The coffee bean tasted just as good as it smelled. I fired up the coffee grinder and started to prepare my first French press of the Tanzanian Peaberry. As I poured the hot water into the carafe I was once again struck by the pleasant coffee aroma. I knew at this point this couldn’t possibly be a bad cup of coffee. Right?!
I could not possibly have been more wrong.
I poured out my first cup of coffee and shared the remainder of the carafe with a couple of coworkers. Taking my first sip my expectations were high. The coffee hit my tongue and the taste was…terrible. Per the bag, I was expecting a delicious tasting coffee with a hint of dried fruit, chocolate and orange—but all I tasted was bad. The taste was very acidic—not in the good way—and bitter. As I worked through the cup, I was hoping the coffee would taste better over time, but it didn’t. I checked with my coworkers, and they gave me very unenthusiastic “It’s okay” replies. Both stated they’d had better.
I decided this may once again be a user/loser error on my part, as it had been with the Native Ground Coffee Arrowhead. My first french press may not have been ideal, so I adjusted the grind, then carefully watched my steeping time…but to my dismay I still got the same acidic, bitter taste.
So, hell, I made another french press-ful, too. Third time was the charm, right?
No, third time is not necessarily the charm. Third time was just as bad the first two.
The next day at work I was trying to decide what to do with the remainder of the beans when luckily another coworker came to ask for some coffee because the office kitchen coffee supply was empty, so I smiled and said, “I got your hookup right here.” I ground a couple filter baskets for the office drip machine, then went back to my desk to the world of debits and credits, happy that I was able to at least use a good part of the bag of beans. After a while I went around the office asking what my other coworkers thought of the Tanzania Peaberry. The results were overwhelmingly negative. One person said, “I don’t know about peaberry but does taste like pee is in the coffee.” A few people just flatout poured the coffee out. Janice immediately walked next door to Dollar General to buy coffee: the consensus was the usual office Maxwell House was preferred to the Peaberry. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.
Ultimately, as I finished the bag of beans with some experimental adjustments to grind and steeping time, I was able to get a marginally drinkable cup of coffee with a taste similar to bad greasy spoon diner coffee or gas station coffee that you desperately drink just for the caffeine hit on a long drive.
My coffee review is: overall, it is just plain ol’ bad coffee. I would not buy again nor recommend.
But hey, what do I know? Please feel free to give a try and let me know what you think. If you find a better way to brew, let me know in the comments below—maybe I will try it again.
—Joe from pegritzandjoedrinkcoffee.com.
PEGRITZ’s TAKE:
When Joe told me his take on this coffee, I thought: OK, I’ve got to try this crap for myself. I generally do not like African coffees—to me they taste ashy, like the volcanic dirt the plants are grown in—so I didn’t have too much hope for the Tanzania Peaberry right out the gate. But, only one way to find out.
Joe prepared a french press for me. He is absolutely right: the beans smell delicious, and when I ate one from the bag it tasted just as good as it smelled. How could just soaking these beans in water possibly make them taste gross?!
Then I drank the brewed coffee.
My very first experience was: Bro, this isn’t that bad. It wasn’t great by any means, but I would have given it a straight-down-the-middle Midlothian (5) grade. Until the aftertaste kicked in. At first, the coffee tasted rather thin (despite the fact that we actually put a bit more grounds into the french press than we should’ve) and a little bit acrid, but not distastefully so. But as the initial flavor impression mellowed out, it just tasted like…dirt.
It took me a while to really figured that out, though. This coffee was not bad, but I just didn’t want to drink more of it. Something was off. As I worked through the cup and the coffee cooled into the lukewarm range at which I think black coffee tastes best, it just tasted worse and worse, like I was drinking a thin, water mud. And that’s when it hit it: the stuff tasted like earth. Like a mouthful of dirt. Though the Tanzania Peaberry roast is officially described as a medium roast, I think it tastes more like a dark roast—and not a good dark roast, either.
Still, though, I wouldn’t have given the Volcanica Tanzania Peaberry less than a Lower Midlothian (4) grade were it not for the fact that before I was even halfway through the cup my stomach started feeling a bit gross. I couldn’t finish it. And thank the gods I didn’t, because by the time I got home I had to run for the can. The whole rest of the damn day I was shittin’ like a kitten. Coffee never has that effect on me…unless it’s a particularly bad coffee—and, well, the results here speak for themselves.
—Pegritz from pegritzandjoedrinkcoffee.com.
Pegritz and Joe Drink Coffee 
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